Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Blogging in Bed

It looks like I might have a new post from which I will be blogging, at least for the next few days... my bed.

I had a doctor appointment on Tuesday and we started out with the ultrasound which was wonderful, Colin was sticking his tongue in and out, we got to see a great foot print and profile and the most exciting was that he finally let us see some hair! It looks like a little buzz cut. He's healthy and head down, getting ready to make his debut.

After the ultrasound I was so happy and got a big slap in the face when they sat me down to have my blood pressure taken. When I looked at the machine I uttered an "oh no" because I knew it was bad. Then I was sent over to the testing room to have my non stress test. After about 10 minutes Dr. Hashad came in to see how Colin was reacting and when she opened the door she looked at me and immediately said, "You look really swollen, how are you feeling?" I wish I had the words to explain how her face looked when she saw me. It was very clear that she didn't like what she saw, always a great way to have someone look at you when you're feeling huge and pregnant haha. Of course, Colin was asleep again (he thinks testing time is nap time) so I had to guzzle some apple juice- gross. When we were finally done with the test we met the doctor in a room. When she saw my blood pressure reading, weight gain (6 lbs in a week HOLY COW! I was happy that she let me know she thought it was mostly water retention. It doesn't make the clothes fit better but it made me feel a little better) and the fact that there was protein in my urine sample she immediately kicked into a different mode. I felt like within 5 minutes I had orders to rest in bed, a STAT lab order and I was having my blood pressure taken again. Then we talked about what needed to be done and I asked for the best and worst case scenario, I was told the worst case scenario would be an induction before the weekend, but then she remembered who she was talking to and said my worst case scenario would be admitting me into the hospital for a week or more before being induced. After she told me that I kind of tuned out and didn't hear much about the best case scenario. I left for the lab after booking an appointment for Thursday morning and felt like I was in a daze.

When Ashley and I walked into the lab the waiting room was pretty full and this kid that had been in the doctor's office was there too (I recognized him by the shrilling scream he felt the need to belt out every 5 minutes). I pulled out Ashley's bag of entertainment and we started practicing writing Colin, Mom and Dad until the kid started ripping the pen and paper out of Ashley's hand. One would think his mom would stop him and switch seats but I guess that's too much to ask. I can't stand it when parents make it someone else's responsibility to tell their kid no. At that point I wanted to hide in a hole and stick my arm out when they were ready to draw my blood. As the room started to clear out I was on the phone with Jason to give him an update and I just burst out in tears looking really cool in the waiting room. Luckily the lady that checked everyone in was really nice and brought me a glass of water, tissue and just talked to me for a minute to comfort me. When it was time for me to have my blood drawn I was feeling better and done crying but the check in lady insisted on bringing me back and staying with me (how sweet!). My daughter was so sweet, she always finds a way to make a hard time so precious. As I sat in the chair Ashley held my left hand and said, "Now mom, if you get scared or it hurts, I'm right here and I love you." Then she kissed my hand and hugged my arm. My heart melts just thinking about it again.

When we left the building I was so overwhelmed. I went from having such a great pregnancy compared to my first to having very similar worries and too much running through my head. I can't imagine being in the hospital for a week away from Ashley. I know I would be able to see her, but I wouldn't be able to be her mom, to be there when she wakes up, make her meals, plan something fun and watch her smile and to put her to bed. I've never been away from her for that long and I kind of felt like I was getting robbed of the last week of just her and me. Then I started thinking about being on bed rest at home and the difficulties that come with that. I just started to worry about EVERYTHING and this time I didn't just have Jason, myself and the baby to worry about, I also had Ashley and it felt really complicated. So, last night Jason and I had to have a "talk" to figure out what our decisions would be with different scenarios, that resulted in quite a few tears.

I got my lab results this morning and my blood work was all within the normal ranges and I was told to stay on bed rest until my Thursday morning appointment. That was good news but at the same time we feel like we're in limbo and just waiting to see what life will be like for the next few weeks. God was really good to me today and gave me a cuddly girl that wanted nothing more than to cuddle and watch cartoons and movies with me, which made things easier. I received a call this afternoon and my doctor's schedule was changed because of a c-section so I'll be meeting with the nurse for all of my testing tomorrow and then get a call from the doctor to see where we're at and what she wants to do. I have a feeling I'll be on bed rest for a week (sigh, really, really big sigh) and probably be induced at the end of next week, but we'll see what happens. So, I guess I'll just take advantage of this time to rest before the sleepless nights begin and make the best of it. It's not my first choice but if I only have to put in a week or so of bed rest to end up with a healthy baby he's worth it.

I'll keep you updated when I find anything out tomorrow.


J. Gruenemay said...

Ugh! So sorry you're stuck worrying again in the last weeks before baby comes. If you need to either get your mind off it or wallow in it, just give me a call to chat! Wish I could be there to help you.