Saturday, October 10, 2009

Bottle You Up

My sweet Colin,

Today, I felt like you grew every time I blinked my eyes. I've found myself staring at you more and more because I'm afraid I'll forget these moments or miss one of your last newborn coos or scrunched up faces. I wish I could stop the time and soak it up like skin soaking in the sun on a hot summer day. Everyone always says they want to "soak it up like a sponge" but a sponge can easily be squeezed and be drained of all it held. Our skin soaks up the sun and that time in the sun is never forgotten, it leaves us golden skin and freckles which stay with us and turn into sun spots and wrinkles as we get older. I want my memories of these days to stay with me forever, until I'm old and covered with wrinkles and sun spots.

Each day I marvel at how much you've grown and how much more you can do. You've started to reach for my hair if it falls near your face when I give you kisses. You've continued to bless me with your sweet smiles, you make me work hard for them, which makes me cherish them that much more. Your entire face lights up when you flash those gums, it makes me laugh and leaves me smiling for hours.

If you fall asleep in my arms you've started to search for a patch of my skin so you know you're still near me. To know that you love me that much makes my heart melt like ice cream on a hot summer day.

Watching you sleep is usually the time I sit and wonder what you will be like as you grow older and I think about all of the things I want you to do in your lifetime. Each time you take a breath and your chest rises my hopes and dreams for you get higher and higher.

You are my son; I love you and hope that I will always be able to guide you in a loving way. I hope the time we spend together now will plant the seed for a relationship that will grow strong and sturdy like a California redwood. I hope you will always be able to see the love and joy I have for you just by looking at my face. As a mom I will feel like I have been a success if you and Ashley know you are cherished, valued, appreciated, cared for and LOVED at the end of each day. That is my goal and you and your sister are well worth the work it will take to reach that goal every day. I'm sure there will be some days that will make it really hard to reach that goal and some days where I'll fall short, but I promise I will always try my hardest to tuck you in each night knowing I was successful reaching that goal.

I love you my sweet Colin Boy.
Love Always and Forever,