One of Those Days

Today is one of those days where I just can't seem to get in gear. I'm feeling really anxious about Colin's arrival, I want him here NOW. As soon as I think that I have this check list go off in my head that feels like a ticking time bomb and it's making me overwhelmed today. Oh, how I wish I could hibernate for two months and wake up to a new baby and completed check list. I have a hard time with big change, it just takes me some time to adjust and I think that is part of what is going on right now, the pregnancy hormones aren't helping it either. At this moment I want to bang my head on the keyboard and cry but I'm not really sure why LOL and it doesn't seem all that productive either. So, Ash and I are going to try to check some stuff off the list today and hopefully that will give some more breathing room.

While I'm on here, we are having sleeping issues with Ashley and I'd love to take advice from anyone. She's trying to resist her naps but she still REALLY needs them. The problem is she's not capable of taking a 1-2 hour nap and waking up happy, she needs 3-4 hours but that makes her want to stay up until 10pm and I just can't do it and don't want to battle that when Colin arrives. She's waking up at 7 right now and goes down for a nap between 12:30 and 1. I've tried eliminating the nap and she falls asleep at dinner and at 4pm starts to get so crabby. I would love for her to wake up around 7, take a 1-2 hour nap and go to bed around 8 but no matter how I try we just can't get that to work. I'd also be happy with her waking up around 8, skipping the nap and going to bed between 7:30 and 8 but that hasn't worked either. The two big goals we set for her before Colin is born is to have her sleeping in panties at night (which she's done for 2 weeks perfectly!) and to get this sleeping thing under control.

A New Chapter: Unemployment

A chapter in my life has been closed today, at least for a long while. As of today, I am unemployed. I've spent the last three years caring for Cody, Maddy, Greyson, Dylan, Brody and of course my Ash. Babysitting was a great thing for me and our family, I was able to be home with Ashley, she pretty much had a play date with friends everyday and it brought in a little bit of money to pay for things so we could finally afford a home. Having all of this end is bittersweet. Of course I'm overjoyed to have the opportunity to give 100% of my attention to Ashley for these next few months before Colin comes and to have the freedom to go and do whatever we want each day. At the same time I will miss the kids and their moms, it was fun watching all the little ones grow up, I can't believe they all started off as infants and are now toddlers or preschoolers (time flies!). I'll also miss catching up with the moms each morning and afternoon, sharing the joys of motherhood with each other :-)

Today has felt strange because I've always considered myself a stay at home mom but now I feel like I'm REALLY a stay at home mom, which is exciting, but for some reason kind of scares me the tiniest bit (it kind of reminds me of when my parents dropped me off at college- so exciting but the freedom was a little scary). The doors that will open for Ash and I to grow in our relationship and to experience new things together will be great. I think the nervousness comes from the fact that I've never brought in absolutely no income and I think that will just take some time to adjust to (at least that's what other moms have told me). The fact that Jason is willing and able to carry the burden of being the sole provider for our family is amazing and he has no idea how much I admire him and appreciate him for doing so, thanks Jas. And thank you to each family for trusting me to care for your little ones, it was an honor and joy to watch them grow up each day.

Colin's photo sessions

I had another doctor appointment this morning and it was fairly exciting. We started off with the ultra sound as usual and Colin was so twisted up inside me that it took a while to figure out where all of his parts were. We were finally able to get a profile shot, I haven't had one the whole time and they are my favorite because you can see the face without the creepy eye sockets staring back at you. His cheeks have gotten even chubbier and he has some chubby thighs too, what a difference from Ashley who had long skinny gams.

I finally made a list of questions for the doctor, I usually try to rely on my memory for questions and since my brain is pretty much useless right now I figured writing questions down might help. Everything was fine until I started asking the doctor about how many contractions I should be having and how strong they should be. As soon as I told her I've been having about 6-10 an hour if I'm busy and moving all around she immediately (but very calmly) recommended a test and wanted me to stay for a non stress test to monitor the number of contractions. She said everything looked good and seemed normal but that amount of contractions was too many. It took almost 20 minutes to find Colin's heartbeat because he's a squirmy wormy as Ash says and was playing hide and seek with the nurses (yes, that made me nervous even though I already had an ultrasound that showed he was perfect). Of course I only had 2 contractions during the test so she's thinking it might be because I'm up and down all day and lifting kids in and out of high chairs and cribs (I guess it's a good thing babysitting is ending this Friday).

Due to the contraction situation I'm going to be back in 3 weeks for another non-stress test and then I'll start coming in every week for the test unless the amount of contractions drastically changes.

Another great thing was my blood pressure was way down and we will be monitoring that closely to see if I need to cut my dosage in half YAY!

So, I finally scanned Colin's ultrasounds and have them below. I have the original followed by one with outlines of everything so you can tell what everything is. I'm not an artist and had to do this with a mouse so I didn't do a very good job making Colin look cute.

All things wonderful

I had to share a picture of my flowers, they make me smile so hopefully they will do the same for you.



Also, here is a picture of the cupcakes and I put the peanut butter frosting recipe below, if you're feeling very ambitious you can click on the link to get the full recipe which includes the cake batter recipe. YUMMY!



Peanut Butter Icing:


1 cup confectioners' sugar
1 cup creamy peanut butter
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
3/4 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1/3 cup heavy cream
Place the confectioners' sugar, peanut butter, butter, vanilla, and salt in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Mix on medium-low speed until creamy, scraping down the bowl with a rubber spatula as you work. Add the cream and beat on high speed until the mixture is light and smooth.

(I forgot to buy unsalted butter so I just left out the kosher salt and it worked that way too)

For the entire recipe click here

Happy We Love Daddy Day

Ashley woke up this morning and I asked her what she wanted to do and immediately she told me she wanted to make something for her daddy. I had no idea what we could make so I made that her responsibility. After a few suggestions she settled on the idea of having a party for her dad. I wasn't sure what we were going to celebrate until I asked her and she had the simplest most wonderful idea, she said, "It's an I love daddy party!"

We were off to the market to get the weekly groceries and to figure out how to celebrate loving daddy. I walked in and instantly smiled because I saw beautiful peonies in shades of pink and white, they were so pretty I had to adopt some and take them home with me.

As we wandered through the store getting our food Ashley and I decided to make a sign for Jas, get a balloon (a surfer monkey girl- Ash said it looked like her), stuff to make one of Jason's favorite summer dinners, a card and all the fixings to make chocolate peanut butter cupcakes. We had a blast in the store, laughing, hugging, giving kisses and picking out things for daddy. We had so much fun that our shopping trip lasted three hours from the time we left the house until we got home! When we realized how late it was when we got home we were in a mad dash to eat a quick lunch and get started on those cupcakes. I saw this recipe on Barefoot Contessa on the food network (Yes, I know, I'm a dork and watch that channel but I can't help it, I love it!). I cheated and bought a dark chocolate Betty Crocker mix instead of making the batter from scratch, but who has time for that anyways? After we put the cupcakes in the oven we hurried to cut out the letters for our sign and make our cards. After we hung our sign and placed the balloon in just the right spot we headed back into the kitchen to make the peanut butter frosting. I can't tell you how easy it was and holy moly it is absolutely delicious. The frosting tastes like the inside of reese's pieces and I'm guessing the chocolate cupcake tastes like chocolate, duh, so I think they will be scrumptious.

After all of our running around the house and hurrying Ash and I sat down and eagerly were waiting for Jason to come home. Then we got the phone call, electricians at one of his job sites hit a water pipe and it was flooding the garage. So, he turned around and left Ladera heading to Laguna Beach. Now Ash and I are just hanging out and trying not to fall asleep. I'm thinking Jason will appreciate his surprise even more after having a really long day at work. We'll post pictures of the surprise once he gets home.

My buddy

I'm having a moment. I'm getting ready to go to a baby shower a few hours away today and I'm already missing Ashley. I'm used to being apart from Jason for a few hours almost every day but Ashley is like a third arm for me, she's my built in best friend. I was trying to remember the last time I went somewhere all day without her or Jason and I can't remember! Jason and I rarely have a date night but when we do I'm so excited to have a date with him that I don't have time to think about missing Ashley once we leave her. But this, this is totally different. I started thinking about all of the little things she does in a day that I'm so lucky to see and I'll miss out on those today:-( For instance, yesterday she told me she needed to get her robe on before coming down stairs so I told her to put it on and meet me down there. All of a sudden I hear her tiny feet coming down the stairs and then she appears in a pair of princess panties, HUGE red elmo slippers holding her purple sundress and Dora robe. I burst out laughing because she just looked so darn cute. Each Elmo slipper is about as big as her head and then there was her tiny body carrying her big fluffy robe and sundress, what an outfit! I'm realizing exactly how lucky I am to get to see all of those moments each day, I can't imagine missing out on them. I hope Jason and Ashley have a fun time together and she does something cute like that just for her Dad- he deserves it.

My favorite sous chef

After all the kids left yesterday Ash and I headed into the kitchen with our matching aprons to make a treat for dad- homemade spaghetti and meatballs. Ashley is the only person that wants to cook in the kitchen with me but even if there was a hand full of other people she would still be my first pick. I love that she loves to cook with me it makes my heart melt every time. Sometimes I can envision us in the kitchen years down the road getting ready for holidays or making food for her class parties and even when I'm an old granny making cookies with my daughter and grandchildren. I can't wait to teach her the family recipes Jason and I love so much. I'm one of those people that thinks meal times are sacred times, it's when the family gathers together, shares stories from their days and usually has a few good laughs. There are many memories I have around various dinner tables and the food eaten at each of those meals becomes just as important as the people that were there in the memory. There are certain smells that come from the kitchen that remind me of when I was about Ashley's age making fudge at grandma's or decorating Christmas cookies with my brother and sister. It's nice to have a night off every once in a while and not cook but there have been times (like when we moved into this house) when I couldn't cook for almost a week and it was killing me, I desperately wanted to spend the early evening in the kitchen and have a home cooked meal with my family. I hope Ashley will catch the cooking bug and enjoy it as much as I do so she can share these times with her family and give them love filled home cooked meals.

The pirate in me

I started this morning off with my glucose tolerance test and standard blood work, ick! I really despise that test. The drink they give you is SO SWEET it gives me a stomach ache the second I swallow it. My appointment was at 8:50 and wasn't over until 10 (you drink the stuff when you get there and then sit for an hour before having your blood taken). Needless to say I was starving by the time we were done since I had to fast for the test. After grabbing a bite to eat with Ash we were on a mission to get some random stuff for our house. After hitting 4 stores all we ended up with was two rugs, two really tired girls and a baby that had the hiccups and seemed quite frustrated by them (lots of movement in the belly). By the time we got home Ash was snoring (I wished I was snoring) and Colin had settled down. After putting Ash to bed I pulled the rugs out and put them down and let out a HUGE sigh of disappointment. They were too small! ARGH! I think at that moment I actually said ARGH! out loud like a pirate. Basically, we ran around town and had nothing to show for it today and now I have to return stuff (not a favorite thing of mine).

Once I sat down to call Jason and tell him my frustrating news I realized I was really tired and pretty sore. After hanging up the phone it dawned on me that this leg of my pregnancy is kind of like the first time around for me since I was on bed rest at 5.5 months with Ashley. I've never walked around shopping all day while 7 months pregnant, not to mention lifting a 3 year old in and out of carts and car seats OY! My tummy, legs and back are really sore and tired tonight, it should be interesting to see how I'm feeling in August when I'm HUGE and it's a million degrees outside- I'm sure that will bring out some bitter blogging. I am sore and tired but it's so worth it, I love this little boy so much and can't wait to meet him. I'm trying to tell myself that all the aches and pains are hints to remind me that I'm pregnant and to be thankful and thankful I am. Jason and I were taking a stroll down memory lane last night and talking about how we would have never guessed this would be our life in 2009 when we were celebrating our first wedding anniversary. I know I would have never guessed we'd be where we are but I can't imagine it any other way and wouldn't change it for the world- I love where we are right now and look forward to what the future holds for us.